How about neither? I chose career and I tell ya, I have met more co-conspirator-commiserators than I care for. Just because they are in ga-ga land they want you to join them. I do like babies and I think they are super cute, but I don’t want that responsibility 24×7 for the rest of my life. I’m too selfish of my own time and my own freedom. I feel like I should be respected for realizing that upfront and making the decision to not have a family. Instead, I’m faced with chastising lectures and speeches of disappointment like I let someone down because of my personal decision of selfish freedom.
I want to yell back at them that just because they have sleepless nights, doesn’t mean that I should have them. I enjoy my 8-10 hours. Just because they have to manage their life in half hour increments, doesn’t mean that I should have to do the same and most importantly, doesn’t mean that I have any less joy in my life.
Having children was not going to fulfill me at this point in my life. My husband fulfills me, my job fulfills me and my advocacy efforts in philanthropy fulfill me.
Different strokes for different folks, but please don’t make me feel bad about my choice just because it was different than yours.
You don’t have to like it, but you should at least respect it. After all, I put a lot of time into the thought of procreating and in the end, I decided that it wasn’t for me.